Rob Lowe Roast: David Spade’s 6 Best (And Meanest) Jokes

"I hope we're still friends"

Rob Lowe Roast - Comedy Central Promo Photo
With a friend like David Spade, who needs enemies?

Rob Lowe got roasted…brutally at times…by a dais of comics (Nikki Glaser, Jeffrey Ross), pro athletes (Peyton Manning) and D-list celebrities (Pete Davidson, Jewel, Ralph Macchio) last weekend.

“We’re here to honor the biggest star of 1987…with the biggest stars of 1984,” Roast Master David Spade announced at the top of the telecast.

As it turned out, it was Spade — his longtime pal and former co-star — who hit hardest.

“I hope we’re still friends,” Spade quipped before introducing the Man of The Hour.

Lowe knew it wouldn’t be pretty.

Many jokes, predictably, focused on the sex tape he made in an Atlanta hotel room in 1988 with a 16 year-old girl.

“I expect nothing less,” he told moments before taking the stage last weekend.

“We only hurt the ones we love.  Our society is so paralyzed with political correctness right now.”

Here are six of Spade’s best one-liners:

“For years, Rob Lowe had a sex addiction, but he cured it by getting less famous.”

“Rob is not a gay man, but he plays one every moment of his life.”

“Rob looks great for his age. Many people have wondered if he’s had any plastic surgery. Those same people have wondered if Caitlyn Jenner has had any plastic surgery.”

“Rob came up at a time when a sex tape could really ruin your career. But Rob had to do it the hard way: with his acting.”

“Rob is a life long Democrat except for the time he got behind a younger Bush.”

“Rob has been sober for 26 years.  If sobriety was a baby, he would have fucked it 10 years ago.”


Sean Daly

Sean Daly

Editor-In-Chief at
Sean Daly is a veteran entertainment journalist.His work has appeared in People, Us Weekly, The Toronto Star and other top publications. He was the west coast TV reporter for The New York Post from 2008 - 2013. Sean is the author of Inside AGT: The Untold Stories of America's Got Talent and Teen Mom Confidential: Secrets and Scandals From MTV's Most Controversial Shows.
Sean Daly